How’s that for a title?
You are probably wondering what on earth I’m talking about.
Well, let me tell you.
Growing up, my father was an intellectual. And in his younger days, he was a bit arrogant. He’d tell you this himself. Serving God has mellowed him into a dear man. But it has not always been.
Anyway, the point is — growing up in his house has been very interesting and has developed areas in my personality in certain ways.
Here’s an example. My father loved big words and using words other people didn’t understand to talk over their heads. Observing this and being subject to this from time to time has developed two things within me. I may be wrong, but I don’t think either one is a bad result. Someone else can let me know if they think I’m wrong.
The first thing it developed was a reaction against using big words in every day communication. I don’t fear big words, as I will demonstrate later. But I tend to not use them a lot, except in certain situations. Because, you see, I decided early on that the purpose of communicating is not to wow people with your (self-perceived) intellectual superiority, but rather to… Ahem… Communicate.
I even like talking about complicated principles using simple language so the anyone can be inspired by the depth or beauty of the principle in question. I’m not saying that I’m good at this. But I am saying that it is one of my goals in communicating.
Then there is the other thing I developed, growing up in a house where big words (known as $5 words) flew around freely. Fearless intellectual fellowship.
Big words don’t scare me. Hanging out with people who use big words does not intimidate me. Even when, maybe it should intimidate, it doesn’t because my dad routinely used words I didn’t understand, either unknowingly, or as a joke (see below), or some other reason.
As a joke, my dad used the sentence, “If you don’t refrain from this behavior, I am going to perpetrate abuse upon your person.” I swear to you, as eight years of age, I had no idea what refrain or perpetrate meant but knew it had something to do with something I wouldn’t like.
So, anyway, back to this fearless intellectual fellowship bit. As a result of my up bringing, I also like intellectual stimulation. So at times I pursue it. I have a few places on the internet that I go to where some of the people study Greek and Hebrew. They know what the words hermeneutics, exegesis, and apologetics mean without having to look them up in the dictionary. But not being intimidated by those words, even not knowing what they mean, I fearlessly fellowship with those people. I’ve learned a lot from them and have enjoyed their intellectual exchanges.
So what am I saying here?
Well, for one thing, I’ve come to the place where I’ve finally had to look up these big words (hermeneutics, apologetics, etc) up in the dictionary and find out what they mean and how they apply to me and my pursuit of understanding God and the world around me.
So next post is going to be me defining a few of these words and talking a bit about why they are important. But don’t worry, I still think actually communicating with people is more important than using big words.
Heather! Had I told you that my dad was an intellectual too? And that he was known for terrorizing his teachers (i.e., publically correcting them on a daily basis)? He mellowed with age as well.
Additionally, I grew up in an unusually intellectual church that was literally primarily comprised of ivy-leaguers. And having a really isolated childhood, they were pretty much all I knew. Granted, church was a painful place for me, and I inwardly rolled my eyes at them half the time. Yet when I went to college, I didn’t come back with stories of fraternity parties. Forget boyfriends; I was mostly only attracted to the bohemian artists who had interesting things to say, not the good Christian guys. But, since I was a good Christian girl, I wrenched myself away from the mutual chemistry. Rather, I came back with stories of long, deep talks with professors in their offices (or out to lunch). Indeed, profs tended to open up to me about their spiritual journeyings. I suppose they were all I knew how to relate to at that time, hence…. I slowly realized that as painful as my background was, I had a real love for intellectuals and understood how they ticked. Even though I went to a public ivy, when I tried to talk to most peers they thought I was too intellectual. It took me most of college to understand how to relate to normal people even though I had never considered myself an intellectual.
Now I live in a redneck city and sometimes think I’ve forgotten how to talk “smart” at all. I’ve become adaptable to and certainly very appreciative of the various walks of life and the various “smarts” that come with them, yet I, too, escape to internet forums and relationships for the meaty stuff I crave, particularly as I’ve come to realize just how important/useful some higher studies can be to our spiritual life as we approach the Word and its applications w/ greater clarity. Of course sometimes intellectualism can be downright funny if you have a sense of humor, and I’m afraid I might be unable to keep from laughing at the sincerest philosopher who strings five words together to make one (even if I get his/her serious point). I just have a helpless eye for amusement.
To throw in a bunny trail that I know would interest you: During my senior year in college, I was telling a roommate the usual family rundown—namely, how my father and two brothers were all geniuses, but the women just “are.” She gave me the most penetrating look. For the very first time, the unspoken, “What were the dynamics of *your* family?” response registered. Indeed, she spoke them aloud, but I understood her perfectly well before she opened her mouth. Roger, roger, we have a misogyny problem. It isn’t that simple of course; nature did dole some things out differently, and my father had *shocked* me at the end of high school by urging me to go ivy which even my brothers had not done b/c of tight finances. (I didn’t try. I’d already chosen my college w/o talking to him, since we never talked. But I’d honestly never thought he considered me even mildly smart. Indeed, this was the first compliment I could ever remember coming from him on, well, anything. Ah, yes, another reason I had gravitated toward professors… I wanted father figures.)
I feel like I’ve come full circle now—having simplified myself beyond what I thought I was capable of as well as growing past some of the limitations I’d always felt and moving past relating to intellectuals out of a personal lack (e.g., fatherly affirmations), I now tend to dream of getting a masters from a competitive institution (if I could justify the investment, I’d love to learn even more than that). But for numerous reasons, it is not a path I can travel just now. We’ll see.
And cheers, cheers for hermeneutics, exegesis, et. al. You’ll be a good teacher. You might want to check out Amanda Beattie’s principles of conservative exegesis here: http://amandabeattie.wordpress.com/
P.S.–You know who I am, since you sent me over here. But this is too personal (read: incriminating to others) a post.
By: anon on June 4, 2010
at 9:10 pm
Yes, I know you!
And now see that we relate on another level.
No, you never told me this about your father.
In my house, my sister was the one who was the smart child. At least that is what the tests in grade school said. 2 points below genius IQ. And since my teachers said I’d never be above average, my parents put their hopes in my sister and sort of overlooked me.
Long and short, sister is estranged from the family and I kept my kids home and homeschooled them so teachers couldn’t label them before their time. I want my kids to be who God made them to be. High IQ or not, they are extrodinary. And no teacher was going to tell me otherwise! (stepping down from soap box).
But yes, intellectualism can be stimulating, boring, funny, even ridiculous. Watching my sister, I learned that having a high IQ doesn’t mean a person has a lick of common sense.
Where we differ is that, though my family is intellectual. None of the churches I went to were. I’m not complaining. Like you, I see the benefit of down to earth faith. Also like you, I see the benefit of engaging my mind into deeper thoughts of God, life, the universe, and everything.
By: lightexcelsdarkness on June 5, 2010
at 1:20 am
Yeah, we were in a tiny, tiny church that grew out of a basis in meetings at two ivy league schools. Mostly bachelor men. Kind of weird, I know. But it wasn’t like I learned theology or had any systematic teaching actually. Quite the opposite. I learned to begin to pursue those things many years later on my own. But the intellectual life these folks had outside of the church sort of imbued all interactions.
I laughed at some of what you said here, but I am sorry you were labeled that way. I think w/ us it was more that there was a bias to the boys and a expectation of and recognition on them. If I excelled in something at school, I think I inwardly chalked it up to an accident or something–or what anyone could do if they worked hard (even if that should obviously not be the case… b/c to my mind I could only be an “anyone”).
Oddly, I didn’t get the follow-up comments alert, btw, and so saw your response by accident.
By: anon on June 7, 2010
at 4:51 am
That is, did NOT laugh a the labeling, more at the–no lick of common sense.
By: anon on June 7, 2010
at 4:52 am
Well, afa the labeling is concerned, I was the youngest in my class and quiet by nature.
And since I didn’t excel at the things ‘girls’ were supposed to excel at, I got the label… I think. The outgoing girl who was nearly a year older than me was considered quite bright and doted on in my second grade class. What strange memories we can have.
It took getting all the way to high school and being discovered by a math teacher before I realized that my gifts were actually in the areas thought to belong to men.
All my previous math teachers made me think I was stupid at math. Mr. Havener (yes, I remember his name) encouraged me to take a college level algebra course between my sophmore and junior year to prepare me for calculus.
But, alas, even though I took calc in jr college and came from a family of engineers, back then women just didn’t go into engineering. So again, I wasn’t encouraged at home or anywhere else to pursue my strengths.
What can I say?
Those were the times we lived in.
The up side of it is that I am very careful not to assume things about people and their achievements. There may be latent, hidden talent or smarts that haven’t been discovered yet.
Perhaps a person is very artistic but grew up in a family where there was never opportunity to explore it and it was never encouraged.
It’s never to late to discover things about yourself. It’s never too late for an individual to stumble upon a God-given talent and then to explode into that talent for the glory of God.
God is good and gives good gifts to all.
May we all encourage one another on to it.
And long live common sense!
By: lightexcelsdarkness on June 7, 2010
at 2:28 pm
Oh, how frustrating! Yeah, what had surprised me most about my dad’s req that I go ivy was that he wanted me to go into medicine or science. I was doubly confounded that he found me capable there b/c of all this guy/girl stuff.
And in light of odd school breakdowns: at one point I was put in remedial reading. I think this was b/c w/ abuse I had been enduring I dissociated a lot (still do) while reading, making for a real impediment. Of course, I didn’t figure that one out until many years later. But thankfully it occurred to someone that I read on a depth much greater than my peers; plus, I could muster up enough adrenaline for most testing situations to keep the dissociation at bay. So w/in a couple of mos I was in the gifted and talented program instead and pretty much remained in that up until college w/ a yr out b/c of a teacher who didn’t like me. I even won the one award that was given out w/in it in middle school but again chalked it up to accident or something.
But, yes, there are hidden treasures all around in people, and it’s a shame how learned self-perception hinders us. I agree on recognizing other sorts of smarts, etc.
And actually, in regards to your comment about arts, I eventually majored in creative writing in college–something almost wholly unexplored until I was in the midst of it. I won’t say I’m a great poet; even in my circles, I know others who are both more capable and more apt to devote their lives to the craft. But it is definitely something I’m called to foster in bits and pieces. But I was really a late-comer and an even later-bloomer on that front.
Did you ever end up studying engineering?
By: anon on June 7, 2010
at 4:09 pm
Nope,
No engineering for me now.
Later learned that Engineering is an all or nothing situation, bad for moms that want to be involved in the lives of their children.
Also learned from women in engineering that many/most men in engineering don’t know how to treat women in their feild. They either baby/coddle or take on an offensive stance.
Though I could handle such behavior from men now, just getting out of college, I would not have been mature enough to deal with it.
I tried to go back to school for Psychology. But my family couldn’t handle it. Plus, right now I have two sons in college and need to prepare a daughter for college.
I have things I want to do, but right now I have to take care of others. Help my children not to make some of the mistakes I have made.
By: lightexcelsdarkness on June 8, 2010
at 5:25 pm
Yeah, you do need to make wise decisions ALL the way around. And that bites about the handling of women in the engineering field….
I didn’t realize you had sons as well as daughters. A great investment… and from what you’ve already shared, kids to be proud of.
By: anon on June 8, 2010
at 9:08 pm